Disposable beds are unrel …
Disposable beds are unreliable.
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My wife is leaving me bec …
My wife is leaving me because I jump to conclusions. At least I think she is.
Continue ReadingCats have nine lives. Whi …
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
Continue ReadingTell you what, some of th …
Tell you what, some of the girls I go out with are so stupid they literally can’t even spell their own name! Fair play though, most of them don’t start school till next year
Continue ReadingTerry pratchet said thy w …
Terry pratchet said thy writing is the most fun you can have with your hands on your own. And he clearly still lives with his mum.
Continue ReadingAmuse yourself when filli …
Amuse yourself when filling in application forms. When it asks “Are you registered blind or partially-sighted?” tick slightly outside the box that says “No”.
Continue ReadingMexican Food: It’s all th …
Mexican Food: It’s all the same just folded differently.
Continue ReadingMy dictionary angered me …
My dictionary angered me last night. So today we’re going to have words.
Continue ReadingMy wife has just text me …
My wife has just text me to say that she’s bought a Siamese Cat. I can’t wait to get home and see it. I’ve never seen a cat with 2 heads before.
Continue ReadingOrangutans – The only gin …
Orangutans – The only gingers girls will ever find cute
Continue ReadingI had a crazy dream that …
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg!
Continue ReadingMy wife and I are a fasti …
My wife and I are a fastidious couple. I am fast and she is hideous.
Continue ReadingAn apple a day means NHS …
An apple a day means NHS cutbacks.
Continue ReadingYou know that old saying …
You know that old saying “Don’t mix business with pleasure” …. That’s my dream of becoming a gynaecologist out of the window!!
Continue ReadingMy wife said that she hat …
My wife said that she hates it when I have really balanced opinions. She asked me what I thought. I said I was still in two minds over it.
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