I’ve just reconditioned a …
I’ve just reconditioned an old car It took thirty bottles of head and shoulders.
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“Warburtons factory close …
“Warburtons factory closed by fire” Must’ve been baking in there!
Continue ReadingI took my three year old …
I took my three year old son to Tesco today. As we approached the entrance he wanted to go on one of those rides, you know the ones, you put a pound in and watch them sit in it until they get bored. Anyway, after a couple of minutes he eventually got bored, so I […]
Continue ReadingAs a farmer, I’m often as …
As a farmer, I’m often asked how many sheep I have. I actually don’t know, I fall asleep everytime I try to count them.
Continue ReadingBought some flowers home …
Bought some flowers home for the wife who isn’t so well yesterday.She was reduced to tears,Didn’t have the heart to tell her they were for the funeral.
Continue ReadingMy wife made dessert but …
My wife made dessert but forgot to put any Gooseberries in. Fool.
Continue ReadingI was walking along, when …
I was walking along, when I happened to come across an entire Greek army reading books. I thought to myself, “Wow… they’re smartans.”
Continue ReadingA dying granny tells her …
A dying granny tells her granddaughter, “I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa, the tractor and other equipment, the farmhouse and 22,398,750.78 in cash.” The granddaughter, about to be rich, says, “Oh my, granny, you are so generous. I didn’t even know you had a farm. Where is it?” With her […]
Continue ReadingA 14 year old girl has di …
A 14 year old girl has died after having a cervical caner jab. Well it worked didn’t it?
Continue ReadingTeacher: “Lana, can you s …
Teacher: “Lana, can you spell you name backwards please?” Student: “yes sir” Teacher: “do you?”
Continue ReadingI’m leaving my job at the …
I’m leaving my job at the ship yard to be a contestant on The Apprentice. I don’t know a lot about the world of business, but I’m good at making sails.
Continue ReadingLiving in a country where …
Living in a country where obesity is on the rise and skinny jeans are becoming a fad, I fear for the future.
Continue ReadingSo, the world’s oldest ma …
So, the world’s oldest man has died at the age of 113. I saw it coming to be honest.
Continue ReadingI’ve just cycled 5km in t …
I’ve just cycled 5km in the gym. Probably should have used one of those exercise bikes though.
Continue ReadingFacebok.com Because some …
Facebok.com Because some people are just that lazy…
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