“Alright Sir, are you rea …
“Alright Sir, are you ready for your prostate exam?” “Yes doctor.” “Ok then, Question 1 – Where is the prostate located?”
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Tip for the kids – When y …
Tip for the kids – When your mum is angry with your dad, dont let her brush your hair!
Continue ReadingOh nooos! Ive got caster …
Oh nooos! Ive got caster wheels on my sofa. Does that mean its really a settee?
Continue ReadingI heard the ice cream van …
I heard the ice cream van in the street, the wife jumped up and said “My treat! What do you fancy?” I glanced out of the window then replied “The little blonde with pigtails please”
Continue ReadingI did a fart on the train …
I did a fart on the train today. That’ll teach my son for not letting me play with his railway set.
Continue ReadingFacebook Timeline… Maki …
Facebook Timeline… Making it harder to stalk since 2011.
Continue ReadingI woke up this morning an …
I woke up this morning and there was a bloke stealing my gate. I didn’t want to say anything in case he took a fence.
Continue ReadingI had 7 minute relationsh …
I had 7 minute relationship with a solicitor behind my wife’s back. It was a brief affair.
Continue ReadingZeus sent women to be a p …
Zeus sent women to be a punishment for men, they were a nuisance so men couldn’t live with them but they were dependant so men couldn’t live without them. At least they got one thing right
Continue ReadingI felt so sorry for homel …
I felt so sorry for homeless public transport vehicles that I have set up a Bus Shelter for them.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a couple …
What do you call a couple that go fishing together? Rod and Annette.
Continue ReadingI’ve lived a life full of …
I’ve lived a life full of mistakes…I mean regrets.
Continue ReadingDespite his recent indesc …
Despite his recent indescretions Tiger Woods never lied to his wife. Whenever she asked where he was going he simply said “To play a round!”
Continue ReadingI need the extract the wa …
I need the extract the watery substance from a tree ASAP
Continue ReadingSomebody called me ‘prete …
Somebody called me ‘pretentious’ the other day. I nearly choked on my latte.
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