Some girl updated her bbm …
Some girl updated her bbm status: “Phones about to die :/” 3 hours later… “RIP Uncle John
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
What’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Wal-mart and Michael Jackson? At Wal-mart, kids’ clothing is only 10% off.
Continue ReadingIn the pursuit of scienti …
In the pursuit of scientific answers, animals have been tortured for the past 100 years. They’re still not talking. I’m starting to think they don’t know anything.
Continue ReadingFat birds must feel pecki …
Fat birds must feel peckish all the time.
Continue ReadingBonfire Night. Celebratin …
Bonfire Night. Celebrating a failed terrorist attack with lots of little explosions.
Continue ReadingWhen I was in Primary Sch …
When I was in Primary School I was given the honour of taking the school Guinea Pig home. It took seven months and a nation wide search but I finally made it to Guinea.
Continue ReadingWhen I wrote my self-help …
When I wrote my self-help book for clumsy people, they were tripping over themselves to get a copy.
Continue ReadingI used to be a banker. Bu …
I used to be a banker. But I lost interest.
Continue ReadingI’ll never forget the day …
I’ll never forget the day I met Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher in Liverpool. It was the same day my Wallet, watch and wedding ring were stolen.
Continue ReadingAngry Birds is a chick-fl …
Angry Birds is a chick-flick
Continue ReadingMy wife just gave birth t …
My wife just gave birth to our son, he was six nine and healthy. I think I’ll have to buy him a new cot though, because I didn’t expect him to be that tall.
Continue ReadingI was so angry and a go a …
I was so angry and a go at the cops last week when they took my driving license away. So you should have seen how good I felt as I drove past them again today with no seat belt on and while using my phone. Those fools just stared and did nothing, they know not […]
Continue ReadingI like an escalator becau …
I like an escalator because an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator temporarily out-of-order” sign. Just “Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there.
Continue ReadingAt nearly 7 miles deep, t …
At nearly 7 miles deep, the Mariana Trench just goes to show that sea-chasm truly is the lowest form of wet.
Continue ReadingI don’t see what all this …
I don’t see what all this fuss about beating your meat is. Got me sacked from the butchers.
Continue Reading