I’ve finally decided to s …
I’ve finally decided to stop obsessing over my lunatic ex. I’m over the moon!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My landmine training was …
My landmine training was tougher than I thought but I eventually found my feet. And then twenty yards further my left arm.
Continue ReadingI only own one running sh …
I only own one running shoe. It’s my personal trainer.
Continue ReadingMy wife has thrown away a …
My wife has thrown away all our 60w lightbulbs and insisted we only use low power energy saving ones from now on. I’ll never look at her in the same light again.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s ran off with a …
My wife’s ran off with a giraffe… I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that they have a 21 inch tongue.
Continue ReadingMy boss had just given me …
My boss had just given me a big raise on account of my improved productivity in the last week. Thanks Sickipedia v3.
Continue ReadingWent to Starbucks today a …
Went to Starbucks today and asked for a Brazilian Coffee? All I got was a cup of dirty water.
Continue ReadingMy friend’s dog walked in …
My friend’s dog walked in and started hitting me on the shin with a big tree branch! He warned me his bark was worse than his bite.
Continue ReadingJokes about the police ar …
Jokes about the police are terribly rude, so just give them arrest.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Chicken Pox? Chicken Pox is still coming over kids.
Continue ReadingI hate people that leave …
I hate people that leave their dogs in cars. Especially when they just sit there barking at my kids the whole time I’m in the pub
Continue ReadingMy dog goes absolutley me …
My dog goes absolutley mental if he see’s other dogs on the television. So I can’t watch show’s like Crufts, Countryfile or Loose Women.
Continue ReadingWhy whenever I click my p …
Why whenever I click my pen in Africa, do the locals think I’m talking to them?
Continue ReadingI once took a Penalty in …
I once took a Penalty in the Fog and Mist.
Continue ReadingAn Englishman eating his …
An Englishman eating his sunday roast, a Scotsman with a kilt on, an Irish man drunk out of his head, and a Kenwood Hifi system are in a bar. They were all stereotypes.
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