I think my efforts to cut …
I think my efforts to cut down on using cliches are going well. I’m just taking each day as it comes and giving it 110%
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
A woman came up to me and …
A woman came up to me and asked, “Have you got change for a ten?” I said, “Here’s 20p, but you’re a six at best.”
Continue ReadingWhen I woke up this morni …
When I woke up this morning I felt like one of Mozart’s symphonies. I was alright though, once I’d composed myself.
Continue ReadingBBC News: “Earthquake hit …
BBC News: “Earthquake hits English Channel” Yeah, that couple got pretty excited and started jumping up and down when they won the Euromillions.
Continue ReadingOne AA says don’t drink a …
One AA says don’t drink and drive The other AA says don’t drink My wife just says ‘don’t’
Continue ReadingMini workers were laid of …
Mini workers were laid off recently. It’s ok,they’ll always be welcome at the chocolate factory.
Continue ReadingBBC News : “Peer Convicte …
BBC News : “Peer Convicted Of Expenses Fraud” The report doesn’t say what he peed on, though.
Continue ReadingI finally took my daughte …
I finally took my daughter’s advice and read the dictionary today, apparently no really does mean no.
Continue ReadingSky news US City Struck B …
Sky news US City Struck By 30-Mile Wide Dust Storm Reporters say the local weight watchers were seen line dancing !
Continue ReadingCocaine, God’s way of tel …
Cocaine, God’s way of telling you that you earn too much
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend has just go …
My girlfriend has just gone to sunbed place for a spray tan, but couldn’t have it done as there was only one member of staff on. It takes two to tango.
Continue ReadingWomen’s first thought whe …
Women’s first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet: “Eeww! That’s horrible; I must get cleaning equipment before I can use this.” Men’s first thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet: “Hmmm… Can I remove this with the contents of my bladder?”
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a man wh …
What do you call a man who’s half Nigerian? Nige.
Continue Reading*IF YOU CAN READ THIS* Th …
*IF YOU CAN READ THIS* Then you’re probably not using a Blackberry
Continue ReadingEvery time I get somethin …
Every time I get something stuck in my throat, I just dislodge it by drinking a pint of lager. It’s called the Heineken Manoeuvre.
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