My girlfriend threatened …
My girlfriend threatened to break up with me due to my large collection of Red Hot Chilli Peppers memorabilia, so I had to give it away, give it away, give it away now.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
How come all the supposed …
How come all the supposedly homeless people in London seem to be sleeping in doors?
Continue ReadingA man has delivered a bab …
A man has delivered a baby based on instructions he found on YouTube. I guess that works alright, as long as the birth doesn’t last more than 9 minutes.
Continue ReadingMy mate just got moved fr …
My mate just got moved from his desk job with the police force to scientific support for fire arms. He went ballistic.
Continue ReadingThose who can. Can. Those …
Those who can. Can. Those who can’t. Teach. Those who can’t teach. Teach PE.
Continue ReadingMy friend suggested I sho …
My friend suggested I should prepare for the brutal lighting storms we’ve been forecast. So I’ve changed my name to “Twice.”
Continue ReadingI was complaining to my m …
I was complaining to my mate the other day, who’s a Doctor, about a persistent whining sound in my head. He suggested a divorce!
Continue ReadingI was going to go as a co …
I was going to go as a coconut to my girlfriends fancy dress party but i was a bit shy.
Continue ReadingThats the last time I tel …
Thats the last time I tell Derren Brown a secret.
Continue ReadingMy black mate Winston ref …
My black mate Winston refuses to listen to music if it’s recorded in mono. He’s your typical stereo type.
Continue ReadingI hate learning languages …
I hate learning languages with a cold. Though it does make me fluent.
Continue Readingthings are tense with my …
things are tense with my wife. past tense.
Continue ReadingMy mates been trying to c …
My mates been trying to convince me to publicise my jokes for some time now. Finally, I submitted.
Continue ReadingPack Ease was not a good …
Pack Ease was not a good name for my removal company in hindsight
Continue ReadingMy mate’s just started te …
My mate’s just started texting flirty messages to a female landscape gardener. “Are you going to sleep with her soon?”, I asked eagerly. “No”, he replied, “I’m just putting the groundwork down.”
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