I lost my wife to quicksa …
I lost my wife to quicksand. Took a while to sink in.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Just saw a chicken cross …
Just saw a chicken cross the road. Couldn’t help but think, why?
Continue ReadingI don’t believe in all th …
I don’t believe in all these internet conspiracy theories. I think they were put there by aliens to confuse us.
Continue ReadingMy mate set me up on a bl …
My mate set me up on a blind date last night. He called me this morning and said, “So, what happened?” I replied, “We had a nice meal in a restaurant, afterwards we went for a few drinks in a pub and then we took the bus home.” “How did you both get on?” he […]
Continue ReadingSo the Olympics are over …
So the Olympics are over and now it’s time for a bunch of spastics to run around trying to entertain live on TV every night… Yep, Big Brother is back.
Continue ReadingI was telling the police …
I was telling the police about how my wife was killed while we were on holiday in Spain “Granada?” they asked. “No just a gas explosion” I replied. Can’t catch me out that easily
Continue ReadingI normally enjoy cleaning …
I normally enjoy cleaning, but yesterday I lost my rag.
Continue ReadingRte News: Farmer says cow …
Rte News: Farmer says cows are disappearing from his farm one by one. Well one usually follows the udder.
Continue ReadingI always get the silent t …
I always get the silent treatment when I come in drunk. Which helps make my day at work go so much faster.
Continue ReadingLadies, you can’t be ugly …
Ladies, you can’t be ugly and play hard to get. It just doesn’t work that way. You’re already hard to want.
Continue ReadingBankers are people that h …
Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a paedop …
What do you call a paedophile who thinks secondary school kids are too old? A primary suspect.
Continue ReadingIf you want to be able to …
If you want to be able to identify tartans, it’s easy. You look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
Continue ReadingBBC News “Giggs Misses tr …
BBC News “Giggs Misses training for Man Utd” She probably just wants to keep an eye on him.
Continue ReadingA dog walks into a bar. T …
A dog walks into a bar. The barman says, “Excuse me, but whose dog is this? The sign outside clearly says NO DOGS ALLOWED” The dog says, “Well, I’m not just any dog you know.” The barman says, “So what makes you so special?”
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