As a kid, I always wanted …
As a kid, I always wanted to be a web designer… or, as we called them then, a spider.
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so its GCSE results day t …
so its GCSE results day today and if i do as well as im expecting then the only letters ill be seeing is A and E
Continue ReadingMy wife just told me that …
My wife just told me that im lazy good for nothing layabout, that does nothing to help her around the house. That’s the last time i arrange for her to borrow a ladder when she has to realign the sky dish
Continue ReadingMy wife’s new nickname fo …
My wife’s new nickname for me is ‘The Bank’. Not because she comes to me whenever she wants some money, but because I’ve stopped paying her any interest.
Continue ReadingIt really amuses me when …
It really amuses me when people approach my car door and I pull away then stop halfway down the street, and pull away again. I know it’s childish, but it gets rather boring being a taxi driver.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend and I are e …
My girlfriend and I are expecting a baby soon. It’s due in a few weeks, but then you can never be totally sure with eBay
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a woman ha …
I’ve just seen a woman hand-cuffed and thrown into a van by the Old Bill. He’s the dirty old man that lives at number 43.
Continue ReadingI thought my Facebook was …
I thought my Facebook was broken, but it turned out I just haven’t got any friends.
Continue ReadingI told my boss I couldn’t …
I told my boss I couldn’t make it to work because of the weather today. “But it’s sunny outside,” he said. “Exactly,” I replied, cracking open a beer.
Continue ReadingHere’s a bit of advice fo …
Here’s a bit of advice for you. Advi.
Continue ReadingI read in the newspaper: …
I read in the newspaper: ‘Two people killed in separate chain attacks’ They must be linked.
Continue ReadingI was moved today when wa …
I was moved today when watching ‘KONY 2012’ video with my family. Apparently I was in the way of the TV.
Continue ReadingI went to the African tak …
I went to the African takeaway the other day. Ordered my food Togo.
Continue ReadingIn order to boost sales I …
In order to boost sales I have decided to open up a KFC next door to the Job Centre.
Continue ReadingI was feeling quite child …
I was feeling quite childish yesterday upon mounting a bike for the first time in years. My mate looked at me and bet me 8 beers I couldn’t pull a wheelie. I got the front up off the floor and it was going great until I pulled backwards to much and tipped it. Now I’m […]
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