qjoq.com – Page 1417

My worst ever shopping ex …

My worst ever shopping experience was in HMV when I queued for 127 Hours.

My Son said he was too il …

My Son said he was too ill to go to school this morning. I looked at him and noticed that his head was all pointy with snow on top. I had to admit he did look peaky.

When I die, I’m giving my …

September 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment

When I die, I’m giving my body to Sickipedia viewers. At least that way I know I’ll get buried quickly.

Nothing says ‘I am ugly’ …

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Nothing says ‘I am ugly’ like a blank facebook profile

Walt Disney didn’t die,he …

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Walt Disney didn’t die,he’s in suspended animation.

I’ve nicknamed my dog ‘Ir …

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I’ve nicknamed my dog ‘Irony’ I give him a severe beating with a stick, but he’ll still fetch it and bring it back to me.

people like the accent of …

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people like the accent of Wales, i much prefer dolphins myself

I got fired from my quali …

August 31qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I got fired from my quality control job at the Tartan factory. I refused to double check my work.

Why is it that in order t …

August 31qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Why is it that in order to support something, one must lean against it?

Scientists have concluded …

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Scientists have concluded that radioactive pelicans could cause a natural disaster of glow bill proportions.

I try to tell blind peopl …

August 31qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I try to tell blind people that their seeing eye dogs don’t love them the same way they do. They keep leading them on.

I wouldn’t be caught dead …

August 31qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I wouldn’t be caught dead in the recovery room.

Two Jews walking down the street, one finds a wage packet. He opens it and starts crying. His friend says, “What are you crying for, you’ve just found a wage packet?” “Yes, yes,” he cries, “But you should see the deductions.”