Being 22 stone in this ho …
Being 22 stone in this hot weather is like being Michael Jackson. Im always very close to a 3ft Fan.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Rather than run the risk …
Rather than run the risk of being known as one of ‘those’ multi-millionaires, I bought this very generous chap’s common sense for fifty million pounds. We’ll see who’s laughing now.
Continue ReadingI just sprayed a mosquito …
I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent, now he’ll never have any friends.
Continue ReadingA new study suggests that …
A new study suggests that people with children are happier than people without children. Clearly, the study wasn’t conducted at an airport.
Continue ReadingRemember a tortoise is fo …
Remember a tortoise is for life. So once he’s died, hollow him out and use him as an ashtray.
Continue ReadingOxygen, Magnesium, Fermiu …
Oxygen, Magnesium, Fermium, Lithium, Iron, Tin, Sulphur, Thorium, Uranium, Phosphorus and Cerium walk into a backstreet casino bar. The bartender screams, and says OMg FmLiFe TiS ThU POLiCe
Continue ReadingI went to a spiritualist …
I went to a spiritualist medium the other night to try and contact my recently deceased Father. As we were standing there, she shuddered and said “There is a very strange sensation coming over my face” Yup, that’s my Dad..
Continue ReadingMy friend stepped on a la …
My friend stepped on a land mine for the second time a few days ago; I’m helping him find his feet again.
Continue ReadingI saw my wife getting bea …
I saw my wife getting beaten up the other day, I couldn’t stand to see her in so much pain! So I sat down and felt much more comfortable.
Continue ReadingI’ve just found out that …
I’ve just found out that my next door neighbours cat is the same width as one of my tyres.
Continue ReadingI enjoy watching rivers f …
I enjoy watching rivers flowing on the internet. I was watching a live stream earlier…..
Continue ReadingI’ve just entered a profe …
I’ve just entered a profession of studying the images, ideas, emotions and sensations that occur involuntarily during sleep. It’s my dream job.
Continue ReadingSo the worlds going to en …
So the worlds going to end today, well i need to get laid today then. Off to kids kingdom for me.
Continue ReadingWhy is angle B 60 degrees …
Why is angle B 60 degrees? Bcos.
Continue ReadingIf your wife is foreign, …
If your wife is foreign, is it still considered domestic abuse?
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