I used to live on Money L …
I used to live on Money Lane. It was the route of all evil.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I woke up at dawn once. T …
I woke up at dawn once. That was my earliest memory…
Continue ReadingIf you want to make money …
If you want to make money, be a plumber! My Uncles are plumbers, and they’re so successful they can afford to spend all day with their mates. Racing their karts around their little race track.
Continue ReadingTrying to eat a potnoodle …
Trying to eat a potnoodle with a spoon is like going out with a 12 year old, You can’t get hold of anything!
Continue ReadingIf we donate this money, …
If we donate this money, we’re not going to get these vuvuzelas again, are we?
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend hates it wh …
My girlfriend hates it when I spell and punctuate incorrectly. So I punched her and put her in a comma.
Continue ReadingButlin’s: where the poor …
Butlin’s: where the poor have their annual wash
Continue ReadingWhat do you call and old …
What do you call and old fashioned cookery equipment song? Ladle vice.
Continue ReadingI followed a recipe book …
I followed a recipe book last night, because I decided to cook something exotic for supper, It was a total disaster, I lost track of it three streets away.
Continue ReadingNike are currently branch …
Nike are currently branching out into The Netherlands with their latest, hi-tech trainers. Clever clogs.
Continue ReadingI never had a father when …
I never had a father when I was young so I used to pretend the rubber from my pencil case was my dad. Erased me well.
Continue ReadingScotland’s friendliest mo …
Scotland’s friendliest motorway? M8.
Continue ReadingMy wife wants a divorce b …
My wife wants a divorce because I keep making jokes about the homeless. She must be overreacting because it’s not a big issue.
Continue ReadingAt the moment i really am …
At the moment i really am living the dream, unfortunately for me, its the dream of a schitzophrenic rapist
Continue ReadingAudi are releasing a new …
Audi are releasing a new car specifically for the American market. It’s called the “Audi Doody”.
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