Tautology causes me to wo …
Tautology causes me to worry, stress out and tense up.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My mate never knows which …
My mate never knows which herb to cook with. Despite me telling him, thyme and thyme again.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s just left me be …
My wife’s just left me because she was fed up of my constantly optimistic approach to life. She’ll be back though, i just know it, and we’ll be together forever and never be unhappy.
Continue ReadingWhen on holiday in Mexico …
When on holiday in Mexico I asked a local why their beaches where so much better than ours. He replied “Theee food, theee sunshine and more exercise senor”
Continue ReadingCarlsberg don’t do great …
Carlsberg don’t do great tasting beers, But if they did….
Continue ReadingTwo cannibals are having …
Two cannibals are having dinner. “Your wife makes a great roast,” one of them says. “I know,’ the other replies, “but I sure am going to miss her.”
Continue ReadingI can tell my wife’s runn …
I can tell my wife’s running out of excuses to leave me. Earlier she accused me of having a tree obsession. That old chestnut
Continue ReadingI have just made my first …
I have just made my first Sticky Toffee Pudding. Well it was supposed to be just a Toffee Pudding but I got a bit over excited.
Continue ReadingWent to an M.C. Escher ex …
Went to an M.C. Escher exhibition today. All the best prints were on the second floor but unfortunately I couldn’t get there.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone else find it …
Does anyone else find it amusing that the German translation for Vaseline is “Shlippidich”!
Continue Reading” I’ve got an ‘A’ for my …
” I’ve got an ‘A’ for my essay.” “Great news son! I’m proud of you.” “I haven’t handed it in yet. Any other letters I could add?”
Continue ReadingWhile out the other day i …
While out the other day in my new white shirt, the wind caused a dirty loose drainpipe to fall on me. I was guttered.
Continue ReadingSad to hear about that pa …
Sad to hear about that pastor who died from a snake bite. Apparently it always used to be well behaved – goes to show you can’t always trust a civil serpent.
Continue ReadingJust saw a poster with my …
Just saw a poster with my face on a wall. Apparently I’m wanted for questioning. Since when has that been a crime?
Continue ReadingI’ve been extremely skinn …
I’ve been extremely skinny since birth. If I had my whey it’d be different.
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