Why did the Physics quest …
Why did the Physics question cross the road? As a result of an unbalanced force.
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I used to love doing pelv …
I used to love doing pelvic floor exercises when I was working out. Which is why I lost my job as a maths teacher.
Continue ReadingI hate getting into the c …
I hate getting into the car after my wife has used it, I have to put everything back where it was before. Like the mirror, seat, airbag….
Continue ReadingAm I the only one who not …
Am I the only one who notices the girls with ‘Princess’ as a middle name on facebook seem to be dirty teenage wogmeat with half-caste kids?
Continue ReadingI really regret buying th …
I really regret buying that second hand hairdryer from the charity shop now. It sucks.
Continue ReadingWhen I found two generous …
When I found two generous E’s in my exam results today, I was a bit disappointed, but once I took them, my results were looking a lot better.
Continue ReadingHead, shoulders, knees an …
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. And eyes and ears and mouth and nose. Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes. A fun children’s song, and also the ingredients of a Big Mac.
Continue Reading“What do we want?” “Rheto …
“What do we want?” “Rhetorical questions!” “When do we want them?” …
Continue ReadingWhen people ask where I w …
When people ask where I work I tell them I’m in telesales. Sounds better than “I work at Comet”
Continue ReadingSweet and sour pork It’s …
Sweet and sour pork It’s just another name for good cop bad cop.
Continue ReadingThis is not the greatest …
This is not the greatest joke in the world, this is just a tribute
Continue ReadingMother-in-law gags are al …
Mother-in-law gags are all well and good, but I prefer to use a sedative.
Continue Reading‘Pirate’ has one eye. …
‘Pirate’ has one eye.
Continue ReadingThought I’d give donating …
Thought I’d give donating sperm ago the other day. It turns out Oxfam arent as grateful for your help as they like to make out.
Continue ReadingJust got a text inviting …
Just got a text inviting me to the local nudist club. “Why not,” I thought, “I haven’t got anything on.”
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