I eventually caught up wi …
I eventually caught up with the woman who stole all my new material. I was too late, she’d already made two sets of curtains and a pillow case.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was playing chess again …
I was playing chess against my mates daughter, when he left the room. I made the first move…
Continue ReadingI don’t see what the prob …
I don’t see what the problem is with these health warnings about children and plastic bags. I gave one to my son this morning, he’s been quiet for hours now.
Continue ReadingI am ashamed to say that …
I am ashamed to say that whilst watching Comic Relief last night, I found myself compelled to switch channels every time the side splitting humour was interrupted by the desperate black man trying to eke out a meagre existence. Lenny Henry, give it a rest next year.
Continue ReadingWhen I said I wanted to b …
When I said I wanted to be a role model. Dressing up as a BLT, standing outside Subway and handing out leaflets isn’t what I had in mind.
Continue ReadingI saw my mate Dan the oth …
I saw my mate Dan the other day and he’d bought himself a dog — a great dane. I said “What’s with the pooch, mate?” He said “Research shows that people who own dogs live ten years longer”. I had to laugh when it dragged him under a bus!
Continue ReadingGoing to start calling my …
Going to start calling my girlfriend 02 to see if she will go down on me.
Continue ReadingI downloaded a 3D version …
I downloaded a 3D version of the alphabet. It’s got 28 letters.
Continue ReadingI just changed my g strin …
I just changed my g string tonight for the first time in 8 months. I also changed my a, d, b, low e and high e strings too, guitar sounds so much better now.
Continue ReadingA friend of mine who’s a …
A friend of mine who’s a bit of a nut, has joined the army as an officer. He said he wants to become a full kernel.
Continue ReadingThe Red Arrows haven’t be …
The Red Arrows haven’t been the same since they banned smoking on planes.
Continue ReadingJust spent last 5 hours m …
Just spent last 5 hours making a few poxy sandwiches for tonight’s buffet. Made a bit of a meal of it to be honest.
Continue ReadingA vampire walks into a ba …
A vampire walks into a bar, “Pint of blood, landlord.” he says. The barman gives him his order. A second vampire walks into the bar, “Pint of your finest blood, please.” he says. Again, the barman pours his order. A third vampire walks into the bar and says, “A mug of hot water, barman.” The […]
Continue ReadingAs a paedophile and a tra …
As a paedophile and a trainspotter, imagine my disappointment last night when I finally got the chance to watch Babestation.
Continue ReadingMy Daughter suffers from …
My Daughter suffers from Drug abuse. Don’t ask why my parents called me “Drug.”
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