Author: qjoq.com

There was a dead cat in our garden earlier so my son asked “Dad why is the cat dead?” “Curiosity killed the cat son,” I replied “It came and investigated our garden whilst i was practicing with the shotgun.”

I started crying today when I couldn’t find my scissors to cut out a coupon in the newspaper. I was reduced to tears.

I just cancelled my trip to Amsterdam because it’s easier for tourists to get stoned in Belfast.

Watching Trooping the Colour earlier, I noticed stains on some of the uniforms of the Irish, Welsh and Coldstream guards. There were none on the Scotchgard’s though.

I was just finishing off my blueprint for making the worlds largest carpet when I discovered a huge floor in the plan.

A cure for agrophobics is just around the corner.