The Flamethrower. Because …
The Flamethrower. Because at some point in time one man stood before another man and thought ‘You know, I’m just not close enough set him on fire.’
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Apparently Skyrim was get …
Apparently Skyrim was getting rather popular in South East Asia, It was, however, until it took an arrow Indonesia.
Continue ReadingToday a met a girl named …
Today a met a girl named poverty, I thought that was a very poor choice of name.
Continue Reading“Wake up! Wake up!” My bo …
“Wake up! Wake up!” My boss said as he found me asleep at my work desk. “Sir, I was having the craziest dream that I was getting fired for sleeping on the job!” He smiled as he handed me a hefty bonus cheque. “Nonsense, you’re the best pillow tester we’ve ever had!”
Continue ReadingSo people in the East Coa …
So people in the East Coast of America die sooner than the poeple in the West Coast. …Normally by about 3 hours.
Continue ReadingI was just about to tweet …
I was just about to tweet what i was having for my dinner, then i remembered… That i actually have a life.
Continue ReadingAs a proctologist, I rect …
As a proctologist, I rectify every problem.
Continue Reading‘What do we want?’ ‘COMPR …
‘What do we want?’ ‘COMPROMISE’ ‘When do we want it?’ ‘What time is good for you?’
Continue Reading“Awwwww it’s a beautiful …
“Awwwww it’s a beautiful baby boy!!” I said to the parents. I was asked to leave the funeral.
Continue ReadingDiamonds are a girl’s bes …
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is a man’s best friend. Unlucky, ladies – I know which one I’d prefer to slip on my finger.
Continue ReadingI was debating the colour …
I was debating the colour I’ll have on my new computer. If I get white, it will work harder. But if I get black, it will run faster…
Continue ReadingI can’t remember the last …
I can’t remember the last time my mind went blank.
Continue ReadingI went for a job as a han …
I went for a job as a handyman. “Can you lay bricks?” “No” “Can you plaster?” “No” “Can you do any carpentry?” “No” “Then why are you handy?” “I only live round the corner”
Continue ReadingSo Dappy has pulled out o …
So Dappy has pulled out of V Fest. Just a shame Dappy’s Dad didn’t pull out of his Mum’s V.
Continue ReadingAs a cannibal, I always h …
As a cannibal, I always have a hearty breakfast.
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