Took a fat girl out for d …
Took a fat girl out for dinner two weeks ago. She’s still there.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Botox will never make hea …
Botox will never make headlines.
Continue ReadingI have a friend who is al …
I have a friend who is always being taunted because he is fat. I asked him how he doesn’t get upset by all the nasty remarks, and he said he takes it on the chin. I wonder which chin he takes it on?
Continue ReadingA man goes to see the Doc …
A man goes to see the Doctor and says, “Doc, I feel as lifeless as a Welsh resort in winter.” The doctor replies, “Goodness me, it sounds like you’re Rhyl.”
Continue ReadingThe staff in McDonald’s a …
The staff in McDonald’s aren’t allowed to wear rings on their fingers. It’s not a hygiene thing – it’s so they don’t scratch the floor tiles when they knuckle drag.
Continue ReadingI was named after my fath …
I was named after my father… I don’t really like the name ‘dad’ though.
Continue ReadingGuess what I did when I w …
Guess what I did when I went out for a leisurely stroll through Tehran city centre earlier today? I ran.
Continue ReadingLoving the new Dr Seuss b …
Loving the new Dr Seuss book. Horton Hires A Ho
Continue ReadingDont you hate it when peo …
Dont you hate it when people use apostrophe’s incorrectly?
Continue ReadingI want to thank my mate, …
I want to thank my mate, who looked up “Agglomeration” for me in the dictionary. It means a lot.
Continue ReadingI am sick and tired of be …
I am sick and tired of being told that I’m worthless and will never achieve anything. People forget that I once held the record for the world’s youngest baby
Continue ReadingWith inflation on the ris …
With inflation on the rise, it’s encouraging to see that the fine for pulling the emergency chain on trains is 50, exactly the same as it was in 1962. Thats what I call value for money.
Continue ReadingMy philosophy in life is …
My philosophy in life is simple… I’m not to blame but I’m happy to point fingers.
Continue ReadingMy wife is so fat that sh …
My wife is so fat that she barely fits in the small valley that we live in. And that’s why they say ‘Faith will move mountains’.
Continue ReadingI was opening the jar and …
I was opening the jar and then … JAM!
Continue Reading