Ocean Spray – Good Taste …
Ocean Spray – Good Taste from a Good Place… It’s sour and American, am I missing something?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Now is not the time for v …
Now is not the time for vanity… Now is the time to show the world how incredibly awesome I am!
Continue ReadingI’m experiencing that ‘lo …
I’m experiencing that ‘lovely warm feeling inside’ you get when you’ve done a selfless good deed for someone. I gave up a whole day to help my mate drink his litre bottle of Brandy.
Continue ReadingThe new watch I bought ha …
The new watch I bought has no hands. To be fair, it is made by Guess.
Continue ReadingI’ll tell you what sorts …
I’ll tell you what sorts the men out from the boys. Paedophilia.
Continue ReadingMy affair with the Maths …
My affair with the Maths teacher has reached a new level since her husband died. It’s so much easier now he’s out of the equation.
Continue ReadingParasites – What you see …
Parasites – What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Continue ReadingFelt it would be a good i …
Felt it would be a good idea to draw straws with my mates to see which one of us went for the munter out of a group of girls. And people say my a BA in Art would be useless.
Continue ReadingA hotel mini-bar allows y …
A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future, and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020
Continue ReadingThe wood in my old flat w …
The wood in my old flat was so decayed, that I fell through the bedroom floor into a 180, reverse-twist somersault. It was a proper dive.
Continue ReadingEye. Watch. Cape. Ho …
Eye. Watch. Cape. Horn. Now repeat the four words above faster and faster
Continue ReadingRound our way, thugs have …
Round our way, thugs have started kneecapping people just for fun. It’s the Kray’s.
Continue ReadingMy wife keeps telling me …
My wife keeps telling me that i’m too organised, Well shes not my wife yet but she will be in two years.
Continue ReadingAt scouts today, my son l …
At scouts today, my son learnt how to kindle a fire. Tomorrow he’s learning how to iPad a canoe.
Continue ReadingGirl of 15 killed by 16 y …
Girl of 15 killed by 16 year old by repeatedly bashing a rock against her head for a free breakfast. Who says you cant get blood from a stone.
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