BBC NEWS: A child is mole …
BBC NEWS: A child is molested every 20 seconds. He must be knackered.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
The male gypsy moth can s …
The male gypsy moth can smell the female gypsy moth from a distance of 7 miles. The above sentence is also true if you remove the word “moth”.
Continue ReadingMy wife left me today, Sh …
My wife left me today, She said it was because I could never make up my mind. I didnt know what to say….
Continue ReadingPot Noodles. For best re …
Pot Noodles. For best results, put back on the shelf.
Continue ReadingMy wife said, “Can’t you …
My wife said, “Can’t you make yourself useful?” “Nah, I I’ve only got one U and I’m trying to use up that triple word square before you do.”
Continue ReadingIt seems Chlamydia, V.D a …
It seems Chlamydia, V.D and Thrush are no longer a taboo… but you try asking a bird if she has MSN.
Continue ReadingI’m like a Magician with …
I’m like a Magician with women. I pick a girl at random off the street, saw her in half, and then make her disappear….
Continue ReadingI bought some dry roasted …
I bought some dry roasted peanuts from Tesco. I looked at the packet and it said “Warning. Contains Nuts”. Luckily, this prevented me from eating them and going into anaphylactic shock due to my severe nut allergy. My lactose intolerant friend wasn’t so lucky, as the half pint of milk he bought from Tesco outrageously […]
Continue ReadingIm practising to be a jou …
Im practising to be a journalist at the moment. They say you have to shorten words so you can write faster. Its taken me a couple weeks to learn but ive now got it down to a t.
Continue ReadingMy neighbour is a blacksm …
My neighbour is a blacksmith. Yes, now they are stealing British surnames too.
Continue ReadingMy mate’s always boasting …
My mate’s always boasting how he once had to shuffle 52 packs of cards and then distribute them equally between 4 people. Big deal.
Continue ReadingLovin my new job mixing c …
Lovin my new job mixing cement… Everyday I’m shovelling…..
Continue ReadingThe predominant symptom i …
The predominant symptom is usually severe fatigue and malaise following mental or physical activity. The full extent of this exhaustion often becomes apparent only 24 to 48 hours after the activity. Other symptoms include muscle, brain and central nervous system tiredness… but anyway, that’s enough about ME
Continue ReadingStatistically, two out of …
Statistically, two out of every one Iranian will vote for this.
Continue ReadingI changed my Facebook sta …
I changed my Facebook status: “Women just don’t think I’m funny.” Luckily I noticed that I missed a fullstop after “think” and managed to rectify the situation before any harm was done.
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