Author: qjoq.com

My daughter has just stated dating an undertaker but I’m dead against it. I’ve told her that he only wants her body.

At the bus stop this morning I saw a gentleman getting more and more agitated the later his bus was. He tutted, started checking his watch and grumbled under his breath. I began to wonder how angry he’d be at the driver when two of the same bus came along at once. He went off […]

He said “You remind me of a pepper-pot.” “I’ll take that as a condiment” I said.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh no,” I said, “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I […]

All men are born equal. Apart from me, I was 3 months premature.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home