Don’t bother putting thos …
Don’t bother putting those handcuffs on me, officer; they don’t fit. Me and your wife have already established that.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My wife was disgusted whe …
My wife was disgusted when she found some cheese under my foreskin. “That’s the last time I ask you to unpack the food shopping!” she said.
Continue ReadingA tourist asks a local pe …
A tourist asks a local person – Have you got any attractions in here? – We used to but she recently got married.
Continue ReadingFor Sale: Replica Fisherm …
For Sale: Replica Fisherman’s Knife (Made To Scale).
Continue ReadingBBC NEWS: Afghan civilian …
BBC NEWS: Afghan civilians killed by British drone Since when did Stephen Fry join the army?
Continue Reading‘…In the Christmas rush …
‘…In the Christmas rush for wives and girlfriends to choose and buy their man a gift, why does the race always end up with a tie?’
Continue ReadingTwo MPs are in the lunch …
Two MPs are in the lunch queue and discussing what meal they are going to have: “I’m going all out today,” says the first one, “a 5 course lunch with a couple of bottles of wine – it costs 250 but it’s OK because I can claim it on expenses and the taxpayers will get […]
Continue ReadingMy Sister works for the E …
My Sister works for the Electric board. Do You want to meter.
Continue ReadingMy wife asked me to get h …
My wife asked me to get her a couple of bits whilst I was out today… …she was really pleased when I came back with a whole byte.
Continue ReadingA woman went into a libra …
A woman went into a library looking for a book on weddings. The librarian says, it`s just up that aisle.
Continue ReadingI gave my dog a few beers …
I gave my dog a few beers last night. It’s fair to say he looked a bit ruff this morning.
Continue ReadingChlamydia. Spread the wor …
Chlamydia. Spread the word.
Continue ReadingI see cigarette papers ha …
I see cigarette papers have gone up in price again? I had to pay 75p for ‘The Marlboro Times’ this morning.
Continue ReadingThe parents of Jonathan C …
The parents of Jonathan Cooke have described him as ‘our little Indiana Jones’….funny, I don’t remember Indiana Jones being killed with an air rifle.
Continue ReadingI make jokes whenever my …
I make jokes whenever my wife walks into the room… Or – to put it another way – every time I see my wife, I start to gag.
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