I’ve had to leave my girl …
I’ve had to leave my girlfriend because of her obsession with Daniel Craig. It’s a shame… There was a bond between us.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
It has just occurred to m …
It has just occurred to me the obvious similarities between Kary Price and Frankenstien’s monster. Both are unnatural attempts at beauty that went horribly wrong, and are now left to wonder aimlessly with a bellow average intelligence and hated by everyone.
Continue Reading“Husband’s violent behavi …
“Husband’s violent behaviour only made me stronger” She must be battery powered.
Continue ReadingI hate the useless junk m …
I hate the useless junk mail my bank keeps sending me. This morning, I got a paying-in book.
Continue Reading“Over 90 Killed in Turkey …
“Over 90 Killed in Turkey Earthquake” Well at least he had lived a long life.
Continue ReadingI have just completed a w …
I have just completed a whole marathon ,well aka snickers but its hard to raise sponsor money if i say snickers !
Continue ReadingMy mate doubts me taking …
My mate doubts me taking food to restaurant tables will cure my blindness. Wait and see!
Continue Reading“Man up” – a simple phras …
“Man up” – a simple phrase to make your friends do stupid things.
Continue ReadingI’ve just developed a new …
I’ve just developed a new knife that allows the user to alter sharpness. It’s cutting edge technology.
Continue ReadingA woman aged 100 years wa …
A woman aged 100 years was beaten to death with a cricket bat. A spokesman said, “She had a good innings”.
Continue ReadingAt school they call me th …
At school they call me the whizz kid. But then again that’s only cause I wet myself in the GCSE maths exam.
Continue ReadingYou can’t choose your fam …
You can’t choose your family,….but you can ignore their phone calls.
Continue ReadingI’ve just donated 3 to th …
I’ve just donated 3 to the NSPCC. So far Pikachu, The Powerpuff Girls, Donald Duck and the Care Bears have donated nothing.
Continue ReadingWhile in America David Ca …
While in America David Cameron got to the white house and saw Barack waiting for him he thought ‘Are they re-filming The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air?’
Continue ReadingI’m playing a computer ga …
I’m playing a computer game about DIY for ghosts. I’m stuck on the spirit level.
Continue Reading