Author: qjoq.com

I was at an airport and I saw a sign that said “Check in here” I thought “But I haven’t even lost anything”

“My granny left me a brooch. It’s got a hard, shiny coating, and dates from the time of Queen Victoria.” “Mother of pearl?” “No, Edward the 7th.”

I tried poaching a rhino the other day. I couldn’t find a big enough pan though.

I phoned up the bank to find out the situation of my current balance They told me to stop being stupid and that if I left one raisin on top of the other on the kitchen side they would probably still be there

I would make up a joke about herbs, but now’s not the thyme.

My great-grandfather sat and watched the entire Forth Rail Bridge being built. He was riveted.

My friend asked me if I ever used Ebuddy I said “Nah, But somtimes I use heroinmate.”

I was arrested for driving under the influence tonight. I wasn’t drunk. It was my wife’s nagging that made me turn straight in to a brick wall.

Statistically, seven tenths of a rap artist is a rapist.

‘a’ is the end of an era..