I got sacked from my job …
I got sacked from my job as a lumberjack. They said I couldn’t hack it.
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Bebo has been shut down. …
Bebo has been shut down. Tens of people will miss it.
Continue ReadingI hate going to see Grand …
I hate going to see Grandma cos she always slips me the tongue when I give her a kiss. On the plus side though she swallows like a goodun.
Continue ReadingFish bait is like a drug. …
Fish bait is like a drug. Once you’re on it you’re hooked
Continue ReadingI saw some nerd walking a …
I saw some nerd walking around with a little ‘2’ floating above his head the other day. Square…
Continue ReadingDIY is for tools. …
DIY is for tools.
Continue ReadingFrom time to time I like …
From time to time I like to bend my wife over in front of me and take her from behind, but she rarely agrees to it. Sometimes I just need to twist her arm into it.
Continue ReadingWhy are the all the best …
Why are the all the best tales and moments of the past known as History? Because we have no reason to pay attention to her-story..
Continue ReadingDon’t bite the hand that …
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. How about: don’t serve food that has less appeal than your own hand?
Continue ReadingMy mother said to me “alw …
My mother said to me “always keep your eyes peeled.” Well i think that`s what she said, following her previous advice my ears are still pinned to the ground.
Continue ReadingYou can say what you like …
You can say what you like about Pacifists.
Continue ReadingMy wife says she’s leavin …
My wife says she’s leaving me because of my vegetable related puns. But I bet it’s really because of my low Celery.
Continue ReadingTo impress the girls in t …
To impress the girls in the park earlier, I stuck a couple of socks in my boxers. It didn’t quite work out as well as I’d hoped, they called the RSPCA.
Continue ReadingI wished my friend a Happ …
I wished my friend a Happy Goth Day. He didn’t seem very happy about it
Continue ReadingI think I’m allergic to n …
I think I’m allergic to nuts – I swell up and get short of breath. Actually, come to think of it – that happens when I read Zoo as well.
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