Busy? In a meeting? Put y …
Busy? In a meeting? Put your phone on silent, so instead of being interrupted by texts, you can be interrupted by constantly checking for texts.
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facebook locations plus a …
facebook locations plus a public account equals a stalker’s dream
Continue ReadingI went to see my boss tod …
I went to see my boss today and said, “I think we have a communication problem.” He replied, “You can say that again, I fired you two weeks ago.”
Continue ReadingI’m taking my caravan on …
I’m taking my caravan on holiday this summer. It’s much better company than my wife.
Continue ReadingMy best mate thinks that …
My best mate thinks that David Villa will be the World Cup top goalscorer by miles, but I still reckon it could be Klose.
Continue ReadingI was at my local garden …
I was at my local garden centre today, and saw a sign saying 80% off garden gates. It sounded too good to be true. I looked closely. Where’s the catch?
Continue ReadingSummer vacations: where y …
Summer vacations: where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Continue ReadingTelling an emo girl who w …
Telling an emo girl who was crying to “cut it out”, probably wasn’t a great idea.
Continue ReadingAs soon as I introduced m …
As soon as I introduced myself to her, last night’s date just walked away and never came back. Not to worry, It ended on a Hi.
Continue ReadingAs a keen enviromentalist …
As a keen enviromentalist, I, like most people, only wash my hands when there’s someone else in the bathroom at the same time.
Continue ReadingThe definition of irony. …
The definition of irony. A ginger from the Virgin Islands.
Continue ReadingA guy said to me “You bus …
A guy said to me “You buskers are all the same, get a real job!” I begged to differ.
Continue ReadingEver since my Chinese mat …
Ever since my Chinese mate’s dad developed Alzheimer’s, his sense of humor has broadened immensely. Hoo’s laughing now.
Continue ReadingThis morning my boss caug …
This morning my boss caught me in my office sniffing my secretary’s chair before she came in. It wouldn’t have been too bad had I not tried to get out of it by saying i had a line of cocaine racked up on there.
Continue ReadingKnock, knock. Who’s ther …
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wayne. Wayne who? Wayne drops keep falling on my head…
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