My girlfriend’s Ipod Touc …
My girlfriend’s Ipod Touch just came. Apparently, there’s an App for everything.
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If i was down that mine, …
If i was down that mine, in a big, dark cave, Hide & seek anyone?
Continue ReadingI hope none of my friends …
I hope none of my friends die now, cause it would ruin sickipedia for me.
Continue ReadingHow did the Welshman cros …
How did the Welshman cross the swamp full of alligators? Caerphilly.
Continue ReadingI hate people who steal m …
I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.
Continue ReadingI rang Duncan Bannatyne t …
I rang Duncan Bannatyne the other night to pitch an idea to him but before I could go any further he said: “I’m out”. Got his answering machine.
Continue ReadingA policeman asked me to c …
A policeman asked me to come down to the station for an interview. I haven’t even applied for a job there.
Continue ReadingI fluffed my lines last n …
I fluffed my lines last night. That’ll teach me to hide cocaine in my sock.
Continue ReadingPlayed a gig in a prison …
Played a gig in a prison yesterday. They were a very captive audience.
Continue ReadingI just can’t wait to see …
I just can’t wait to see the look on the faces of the families when the rescue starts at the Chilean mine and they realise that there’s just one, very fat miner left down there.
Continue ReadingDid you know that for onl …
Did you know that for only 60 you can drive down the bus lane…
Continue ReadingMy parents had strange vi …
My parents had strange views when it came to dogs they said we could get a puppy and if we didn’t like it we can just abandon it, my foster parents however…
Continue ReadingI went to the library and …
I went to the library and asked, “Have you got any books on mountaineering?” The librarian replied, “They’re over there on top shelf.”
Continue ReadingI spent five minutes fixi …
I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday. At least, I think it was five minutes.
Continue ReadingI’m so happy my Ex-Girlfr …
I’m so happy my Ex-Girlfriend’s down for the weekend… Well, she should be considering the amount of tranquilizer darts I got through.
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