I sit here, on this site, …
I sit here, on this site, day…after day…after day And I still do not want any tickets to see the Sonisphere Festival
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I don’t know what people …
I don’t know what people like so much about Pot Noodles. They’re too dry and crunchy.
Continue ReadingAt work, I always treat n …
At work, I always treat new customers like they’re my girlfriend’s knickers… I like to rip them off but they’re not to be sniffed at.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s fed up. Hangin …
My wife’s fed up. Hanging from a tree, she has to eat somehow.
Continue ReadingMy boss came to me today …
My boss came to me today and said, “I need someone to finish this report by Friday.” I replied, “Have you tried Robinson Crusoe.”
Continue ReadingLast night, I walked thro …
Last night, I walked through a graveyard and saw something that turned my hair white. A flock of pigeons.
Continue ReadingI spent a year breeding r …
I spent a year breeding rabbits. It was a hare raising experience.
Continue ReadingMaths teachers have got a …
Maths teachers have got a lot of problems.
Continue Reading1st Brummie: – “Have you …
1st Brummie: – “Have you seen The Voice?” 2nd Brummie: – “Course I ‘ave, it’s on the bench in me shed next to me woodworking tools.
Continue ReadingMen in Uggs….. Muggs! …
Men in Uggs….. Muggs!
Continue ReadingIf there’s one thing the …
If there’s one thing the internet has taught me, it’s that dermatologists are very hateful beings.
Continue ReadingA friend asked me if I’d …
A friend asked me if I’d ever won anything. I replied “Me, I couldn’t win an argument!” But, in the end, he convinced me that I could.
Continue ReadingThe boss caught me steali …
The boss caught me stealing car parts at work. I got the boot.
Continue ReadingFacebook thumbnails bring …
Facebook thumbnails bring new meaning to the saying “pretty from far but far from pretty”…
Continue ReadingI was out driving with my …
I was out driving with my dog yesterday, when I thought to myself; “Nah, you really don’t get the same range you do with an actual golf club.”
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