Why does no one ever say …
Why does no one ever say ‘Did I say that out loud?’ after actually having said nothing?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My dad moved in some very …
My dad moved in some very mysterious circles, he had a wooden leg
Continue ReadingI went to a talent show t …
I went to a talent show the other night. The best act of the evening was VD. He got 95 on the clapometer.
Continue ReadingI’ve heard it said by wom …
I’ve heard it said by women that us men keep our brains in our pants….. Well,women blow my mind.
Continue ReadingWho else joins the ‘Lost …
Who else joins the ‘Lost my phone, numbers please…’ Facebook groups, just to rob the numbers of people you’d never normally get them off
Continue ReadingA big fat woman goes to t …
A big fat woman goes to the gynaecologist for the first time. The gynaecologist explains how she has to get up on the stool and place her legs in the stirrups. With great effort, the big fat woman climbs onto the stool and spreads her legs. The gynaecologist turns round and takes a good look. […]
Continue ReadingHelp, I think I’ve just d …
Help, I think I’ve just drowned my Turtle . . Or Tortoise or whatever it is.
Continue ReadingDue to a factory error, m …
Due to a factory error, my phone now has a colander instead of a calendar. It really drains the battery.
Continue ReadingI don’t see the point in …
I don’t see the point in blunt pencils.
Continue ReadingI started a fight with a …
I started a fight with a black man the other day by giving him some racist abuse. “Do you want to take this to court?” He asked. “No mate, I’m better at offending people than playing tennis” I replied.
Continue ReadingThe reason the Italian ma …
The reason the Italian manager has resigned is because he refused to suck up to the FA when expected. That’ll be the Capello reaction.
Continue ReadingMy wife has a fetish for …
My wife has a fetish for the knights from Monty Python. They make her go weak at the Ni’s.
Continue Readingmy doctor asked me if any …
my doctor asked me if any of my family suffered from insanity.I replied. NO .we all actually enjoy it.
Continue ReadingI suffer from aibohphobia …
I suffer from aibohphobia-the fear of palindromes.
Continue ReadingMrs. Jones is having her …
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans his palm against the freshly painted wall. The next day, she says to the painter, “You want to see where my husband put his hand last night?” He sighs and says, “Look, lady, I got a tough day’s work […]
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