QJOQ

I’ve managed to run over 8 muslim women in the last 6 days…. That makes me officially, Leicester’s new drive through Burka King.

I support Columbia, not England. I prefer 3 lines up my nose.

Know who I blame for the rise of drugs in schools? The supply teachers.

I would never eat from a fancy restaurant that had snails on the menu. If they can’t be bothered to wipe the menu’s, what’s the kitchen going to be like?

I discovered an oddly shaped balloon today , inflated and on a string, but it was the most odd shaped balloon i’ve ever seen, so i rang the local newspaper, twenty minutes later all the media turned up , sky news , BBC news , to be honest it was just blown out of proportion

My wife burnt the steak last night… Well done.

Give a man food and he will eat well, give a man the ingredients and he will get a women to cook it for him.