They’re going to make a c …
They’re going to make a child robot that can play music and videos. iKid you not.
Continue Reading“- Extra! Extra! Twenty e …
“- Extra! Extra! Twenty eight people deceived in one city. Stunning!” I was eager to know what it was, so I bought a newspaper. The newspaper was plain blank as the newsboy immediately started to sprint while shouting: “-Extra! Twenty nine people deceived in one city. Sensational!”
Continue ReadingOnce you go black you’ll …
Once you go black you’ll never go back…to having equal rights.
Continue ReadingLast night I was chatting …
Last night I was chatting up a woman in a club. I said to her, “I’m about 9 inches when I’m hard.” “Yeah right” she laughed, “Prove it.” So I punched some random bloke in the face and then quickly hid in her handbag.
Continue ReadingGot young children? When …
Got young children? When the wife takes them to a supermarket, tell them that no matter how fast they run at it, automatic doors will always open in time…
Continue Reading“It’s 9am monday morning …
“It’s 9am monday morning and I have just logged in at work” like : share : Posted via “facebook mobile”
Continue ReadingJust had a really refresh …
Just had a really refreshing slush puppy. Took me ages to get it into the blender but it was worth it in the end.
Continue ReadingI just recently fell down …
I just recently fell down the stairs carrying my 2 year old daughter, don’t worry though, I managed to strategically position her in such a way that I didn’t get hurt.
Continue ReadingBBC News: On average, 2 r …
BBC News: On average, 2 rhinos are poached a day. Personally I like mine scrambled.
Continue ReadingMy sister’s always been a …
My sister’s always been an attention seeker. She has a fetish for sargeant majors.
Continue ReadingIt’s pretty easy to catch …
It’s pretty easy to catch someone’s attention in A&E. All you have to do is snap your fingers.
Continue ReadingMy wife came in from work …
My wife came in from work and asked me to crack her back for her as she was aching all over. The paramedics said it was a really stupid idea to use a piece of scaffold.
Continue ReadingCross roads They don’t se …
Cross roads They don’t seem that angry to me….
Continue ReadingThe Irish SAS have just s …
The Irish SAS have just stormed Dublin Zoo-they killed three gorillas and have released all the ostriches!
Continue ReadingBBC News: Henry leaves Ba …
BBC News: Henry leaves Barcelona for New York He should hoover up over there?
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