Who wears his guns and holster just below his shoulders? Billy the flid
What’s the Big Issue with homeless people?
The irony is, that the winners of the Euromillions lottery are unable to rollover themselves.
I always find it satisfying when I get jury duty. Means i’m not a suspect!
My tooth started to hurt yesterday, so needing an appointment I gave the local dentist a ring. He looked puzzled, but put it on his finger and said ‘thanks, now what can I do for you?’
I met my girlfriend in a photographer’s dark room. Things just developed from there.
I said to my mate, “Have you seen the TV programme about veiled threats?” He said, “No.” I said, “You’d better watch it.”
Mum: Be careful Me: Thank God, before you said that i was just going to be recklessly dangerous.
Did you hear about the train crash today in Lincolnshire? I’m not too sure exactly what happened, but it was something along those lines.
I’d love to meet a girl from Hindsight. Apparently, everything’s easy there.
Reduce your carbon footprint.. take bigger steps.
I dont know what everyone’s so upset about. I love cutting up onions.
I decided to get fit so I bought an exercise bike, and it’s great – I can go on it for hours on end. I pretend I’m going downhill and freewheel.
Big Foot does exist and I can prove it. I got him to take a photo of me, the wife and kids when we took a walk in the forest earlier.
iPhone autocorrect is shut. It’s about as useful a sucking bank tissue.