I absolutley destroyed my …
I absolutley destroyed my wife in the sack the other day… She beat me in egg and spoon though.
Continue Reading“Mate, can you come over …
“Mate, can you come over here and help me do the barbie?” Said Ken.
Continue ReadingContinues to be amazed at …
Continues to be amazed at how quickly the human population is growing. As I see the count rise above 7 billion people, I can’t help but feel the challenge to find Wally is becoming all the more difficult.
Continue ReadingMy mate said he had a new …
My mate said he had a new job at a Bowling Alley. I said, “Ten Pin?” He replied, “No – it’s permanent.”
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Did you hear about the constipated alphabet? It needed a vowel movement.
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What’s black and kills people? Panthers.
Continue ReadingIf a vegetarian becomes a …
If a vegetarian becomes a Zombie…do they only eat people in comas?
Continue ReadingI’ve just walked past Mac …
I’ve just walked past Macdonalds and there’s a queue from the managers office, all the way up the high street. ! Then i realised… Its A Level results day.
Continue ReadingUproar in Manchester afte …
Uproar in Manchester after they finally hear of the Oasis split
Continue ReadingI auditioned for the X- F …
I auditioned for the X- Factor this year and sang with my daughter. Gary Barlow looked at me and said, “Are you having a laugh?” I said, “No mate, why?” He said, “Just put the baby down and use the microphone provided.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just read the Civil …
I’ve just read the Civil Service Staff handbook. It’s called “50 Grades of pay”
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a muslim …
What do you call a muslim who’s brought legal action against his own mother? Mahsoud.
Continue ReadingI asked my Geography teac …
I asked my Geography teacher where Mozambique is? I dont know im your im your Maths teacher,he replied. I said dont change the subject.
Continue ReadingI’ve read about a third o …
I’ve read about a third of a dictionary now but I’m still only on ‘Introduction’.
Continue ReadingWant to find out what mos …
Want to find out what most of your Christmas presents are early? Simply look at your family and friends’ eBay feedback.
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