It’s good to know that th …
It’s good to know that the national budget is being spent wisely on designer gear for Riot Police. Ive just seen two walk past with yellow CK helmets
Continue ReadingI just bought some Armage …
I just bought some Armageddon Cola. The packet says – Best before end.
Continue ReadingBlame Europe for these ri …
Blame Europe for these ridiculous new laws about websites using cookies… But surely it’s the Americans’ fault no-one calls them by their proper English name, biscuits.
Continue ReadingSKY NEWS: Woman found aft …
SKY NEWS: Woman found after seven weeks lost in the wild, she had survived on Snow and Water. So, just Water then?
Continue ReadingMy mate told me the other …
My mate told me the other day that he wanted to change career. I told him that’s completely unrealistic, it’s a military dictatorship run by a ruthless leader and has been for decades.
Continue ReadingI saw a Clowns eye on the …
I saw a Clowns eye on the pavement today. It was a big plus.
Continue ReadingA naked girl lay on top o …
A naked girl lay on top of her boyfriend, ‘something’s getting big’ she said. The boyfriend replied, ‘Glad you finally noticed! I can barely put it in your so fat.’
Continue ReadingMy wife tried to observe …
My wife tried to observe a minute’s silence this morning, but I couldn’t see it happening.
Continue ReadingOld people, if you feel c …
Old people, if you feel cold indoors this winter, simply pop outside for ten minutes without a coat. When you go back inside you will really feel the benefit.
Continue ReadingSKY NEWS: Explosion at ve …
SKY NEWS: Explosion at veterinary clinic. It’s been raining cats and dogs ever since.
Continue ReadingThere are those who think …
There are those who think they are better than others. Not me though, I’m above that sort of thing.
Continue ReadingMy wife is looking very r …
My wife is looking very red from the sun this morning. I rolled it up and beat her half to death with it.
Continue ReadingKids, save your parents m …
Kids, save your parents money on purchasing a ‘Fanta Frozen’ by instead getting a normal bottle of Fanta and putting it in the freezer.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it ironic that the …
Isn’t it ironic that the American’s emergency service number is 9/11?
Continue ReadingI never understood the co …
I never understood the concept of clamping. You don’t want the car to park there, yet you put a device on the car’s wheel to ensure they can’t move. Genius.
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