My wife just got me an ex …
My wife just got me an exercise machine and apparently it’s not our new born son.
Continue ReadingI don’t get along with my …
I don’t get along with my colleagues at simultaneous reading club. We’re just not on the same page.
Continue ReadingMy son just said, “Dad, I …
My son just said, “Dad, I’ve just invented a designer farm animal.” I said, “Son, I’m Prada Ewe.”
Continue ReadingI was flicking through th …
I was flicking through the channels earlier when I found ‘GodTV’. I then tried to find The Atheist Channel, but it turned out it didn’t exist.
Continue ReadingNo rest for the wicked. …
No rest for the wicked. Probably why I is got insomnia, innit.
Continue ReadingWasps: They are just Wann …
Wasps: They are just WannaBees.
Continue ReadingIt’s a terrifying statist …
It’s a terrifying statistic. 70% of young males die behind the wheel. It isn’t all laughs being a hamster.
Continue ReadingI always feel like I’m ge …
I always feel like I’m getting tested for STDs when I run a virus scan on my computer.
Continue ReadingI’m getting married next …
I’m getting married next week but I’ve heard there’s going to be a big fight. May the Best Man win.
Continue ReadingI went to the Barbers tod …
I went to the Barbers today. “How much for a hair cut?”, I asked. “5”, the Barber replied. “How much for a shave?”, I asked. “2”, the Barber replied. So I said, “Right, well shave my head”.
Continue ReadingI want to make a donation …
I want to make a donation to my local Homeless charity, but I don’t know where to send the money.
Continue ReadingI lost my mobile so I ret …
I lost my mobile so I retraced my steps. It didn’t help, I ran out of paper half way up.
Continue ReadingMy first attempt at crowd …
My first attempt at crowd surfing didn’t go well last night. The fin on the bottom of my board kept smashing into peoples faces.
Continue ReadingTimes are hard for plumbe …
Times are hard for plumbers, I had to take a job refitting Ronnie Corbett’s bathroom. I never thought I’d sink that low.
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between lenny henry and Emile Heskey? Lenny Henry has scored against the french
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