When horses get really hu …
When horses get really hungry do they try and keep their distance from each other?
Continue ReadingBought that new Lynx Bull …
Bought that new Lynx Bullet today. Turns out that it doesn’t have the same effect on kids 🙁
Continue ReadingI was gonna tell a joke a …
I was gonna tell a joke about a silver nugget, a lump of iron and piece of coal walking into a bar, But it’s Ore-full
Continue ReadingWhen working in a team Im …
When working in a team Im like an anorexic paedophile. I always try to pull my weight.
Continue ReadingFairy tales are so unreal …
Fairy tales are so unrealistic. It’s not the dragons, or the witches, or even all the magic. It’s the fact that there are all those sleeping princesses, and not once do you hear about them being the victims of opportunist rapists.
Continue ReadingI’m paying for palm trans …
I’m paying for palm transplant surgery. Lots of money is going to change hands
Continue ReadingThis necrophiliac got him …
This necrophiliac got himself a new girlfriend. However he was in doubt whether he cadaver or not.
Continue ReadingI phoned the Emergency Se …
I phoned the Emergency Services the other day and I was on hold for ten minutes. When I got through I said, “You’re lucky this is a hoax.”
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between a scouser father and his son About 12 years
Continue ReadingGot into a fight this mor …
Got into a fight this morning while listening to some music. I had my iPod on scuffle.
Continue ReadingTypos are easily made. Es …
Typos are easily made. Especially if you’re looking for mail order brides…
Continue Readingas a police officer searc …
as a police officer searching for drug users I simply watch the Jeremy Kyle show and hey ho job done!
Continue ReadingWhat’s a Cops favourite H …
What’s a Cops favourite Hand in Poker? Four Clubs beats a Spade.
Continue ReadingTwo old ladies are having …
Two old ladies are having a cigarette outside the old folks home and it starts to rain. One of them suddenly pulls a condom out of her handbag, unravels it and puts it over the cigarette so it doesn’t get wet. “Ooh, what’s that, Betty?” the other asks. “It’s called a condom, they sell them […]
Continue ReadingTwo bacteria walk into a …
Two bacteria walk into a bar. The barman says, “Get out, we don’t serve bacteria in this bar.” The bacteria replies, “It’s okay, we’re staph.”
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