So apparently there might …
So apparently there might have been signs on gary speeds facebook that he was depressed, however officials were too busy monitoring the other 450’000’000 depressed people on facebook to notice this.
Continue ReadingI thought I’d take a leaf …
I thought I’d take a leaf out of Spinal Tap’s book today, and turn everything up to 11! Unfortunately the toaster overheated and my house burnt down.
Continue ReadingReally excited about movi …
Really excited about moving into a detached house. I’ve already got a semi.
Continue ReadingI sent my new girlfriend …
I sent my new girlfriend a handmade card through the post and she called the police… On reflection, using letters cut from a newspaper probably gave her the wrong impression.
Continue ReadingWent to the doctors today …
Went to the doctors today. I asked the bloke sitting next to me what he was in for. “Terrible piles,” he said. “Is that why you’re sitting on that bean bag?” “What bean bag?” he replied.
Continue ReadingI love this new ‘Original …
I love this new ‘Original Author’ thing. its added such a variation to the kinds of jokes people post, often leaving the punchline in that very box
Continue ReadingPilots lead a turbulent l …
Pilots lead a turbulent lifestyle.
Continue ReadingRAM error on my PC? Must …
RAM error on my PC? Must be goats in the machine.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Pilots protest …
BBC News: Pilots protest over flying hours What do they want, the rest of the world to relocate a bit closer to England?
Continue ReadingSoiling myself is a risk …
Soiling myself is a risk I’m willing to take whilst I’m gardening.
Continue ReadingI’ve just checked the cuc …
I’ve just checked the cuckoo clocks -they’re all tickety boo.
Continue ReadingThey believe Michael Jack …
They believe Michael Jackson’s death was due to heredity issues. The doctors say the cause may have been his Billy gene.
Continue ReadingI went to see my Grandmot …
I went to see my Grandmother in the hospice today. I keep telling her to move out of the stables and back in the house, but she just won’t listen to me.
Continue ReadingI was on the train when t …
I was on the train when the conductor asked to see my ticket. I said, “Sorry but I’ve lost it.” He replied, “Lost you ticket. That’s nothing but a fare-based lie.”
Continue ReadingWatching these starving c …
Watching these starving children on Comic Relief is making me hungry
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