I’ve been accused of bein …
I’ve been accused of being ‘all mouth, no trousers’. Well, the actual charges are for ‘causing a disturbance & indecent exposure on a bus’.
Continue ReadingWhich cautious insect was …
Which cautious insect was most adept at sniffing out treasonous plots and insurrections in Communist Russia? The Cagey Bee.
Continue ReadingA day without sunshine is …
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Continue ReadingI’ve just impressed a gir …
I’ve just impressed a girl online by telling her I’ve been offered a new job with a 10 figure salary. I love working in Zimbabwe.
Continue ReadingDoctor: “How are you feel …
Doctor: “How are you feeling today?” Patient: “With my hands mainly, same as yesterday.”
Continue ReadingWhen I’m at work, I do th …
When I’m at work, I do the work of two men… …It’s just a shame those two men are Laurel & Hardy.
Continue ReadingThe path between my house …
The path between my house and my neighbour’s house is full of rubbish. Litter alley.
Continue ReadingHow do you recognize an i …
How do you recognize an idiot inside a car wash tunnel? He rides a bike.
Continue ReadingWhen asked where the expl …
When asked where the explosive packages destined for the US had originated from, president Obama replied “Yeman” I know he’s trying to play it cool but he could have told us
Continue ReadingMy boss screamed at me th …
My boss screamed at me this morning. “It’s the fifth time you’re late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday.”
Continue ReadingDo you think, “I’ve pulle …
Do you think, “I’ve pulled a sickie” is what Doctor’s say to their mates when they get off with one of their Patients?
Continue ReadingI walked past a specialis …
I walked past a specialist African Food Store the other day… It was empty.
Continue ReadingBigPond news: ‘Apple sell …
BigPond news: ‘Apple sells 1.7m iPhones’. Will this version have the same features as the 115 millimetre iPhones?
Continue ReadingBBC News: “Spelling mista …
BBC News: “Spelling mistakes ‘cost millions’.” Or is that ‘billions’? Guess we’ll never know.
Continue ReadingHighlighter is such an at …
Highlighter is such an attention seeker.
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