Category: wordplay

Apple have released a new gadget which enables America to start a war, to cover up stealing oil… It’s called the iRaq.

I’ve been seeing a girl from Hiroshima for the last three months. You can say that it’s a kind of radioactive dating.

Last week I hosted a charity 50’s Rock Theme night for sufferers of Parkinson’s disease. There was a whole lotta shakin goin on

As a large animal vet I was asked to make a prosthetic hand device for a grizzly bear. Have I made a faux paw?

I wouldn’t touch the imperial measuring system with a 3.048m pole.

My Daughter caught me with my trousers down today. It was a leap of faith but she’s suprisingly strong.

I bought a belt made entirely from five pound notes. It was a waist of money.

I got done for weaving through traffic earlier. I suppose there are more sensible places to knit.

Why did the line painter cross the road? Because it was a hatched area.

It was getting late last night playing scrabble with a couple of girls when I yawned and thought, I’m going to have to catch some zedz soon. And a triple word score or I’m going to lose to this pair of slags.

What do you call a shelter with no roof or walls? Flawed

Do sperm banks make a good profit income?

My wife just said to me “The birth of a child is the most exciting moment of any parents life.” Clearly, jumping in a cab and shouting “FOLLOW THAT CAR !” has never crossed her mind.

Whenever I see Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, Dannii Minogue and Cheryl Cole, it makes me wish I had a job as a panel beater.

Dyslexic IT technicians wait ages for a USB. Then three come along at once.