After just having both my …
After just having both my hands amputated, i was trying to think what felt different. I just couldnt put my finger on it.
Continue ReadingAfter just having both my hands amputated, i was trying to think what felt different. I just couldnt put my finger on it.
Continue ReadingWhen I asked my wife why she had trouble sleeping, she said I wouldn’t understand about hormones. I understand perfectly. I cant get to sleep when that hormones.
Continue ReadingMaybe the man was swinging the cat around, To check if there was enough room.
Continue ReadingI was dragging my son around Asda earlier. I started with a dress, then finished on the make-up.
Continue ReadingI bailed yet another mate out today and I’m sick of it. They either let me bat or bowl instead of wicketkeeping, or I wont play cricket with them anymore.
Continue ReadingSky News: ‘Gaza Aid Ship Arrives At Israeli Port’ I thought he was on the wagon, nevermind abroad.
Continue ReadingI met this Jew the other day, we got into a theological debate. It turned out he really didn’t like other Jews at all, his family were all really stingy and he’d been abused by a rabbi as a child. We were getting on so well I plucked up the courage to ask him about […]
Continue ReadingI’ve been out of work for a while but have just got a job at a factory making periscopes. Things are looking up.
Continue ReadingThe Bank sent me a reminder,it said, “We havent recieved your last payment”, I wrote back and said,”Yes you have”.
Continue ReadingA hand in the bird is worth two on the bush.
Continue ReadingI tried going out with a faulty computer mouse once, but it just didn’t click.
Continue ReadingI bought my girlfriend a surge protector for her birthday. She nearly blew a fuse.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a brown paper bag, it really takes my breath away. Then gives me it back again.
Continue ReadingMy Geordie mate Kev was having a rant the other day, “I tell you what man, the next person I hear making insulting sterotypical remarks about us Geordie’s is gonna get stabbed in the eye!” “Why eye?” I asked
Continue ReadingMality mality mality mality. That’s the formalities over with
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