I bought my wife a 24 car …
I bought my wife a 24 carrot necklace. She said, “Couldn’t you have got a gold one instead?”
Continue ReadingI bought my wife a 24 carrot necklace. She said, “Couldn’t you have got a gold one instead?”
Continue ReadingWhen I was a kid “birthday beats” meant you were gonna get punched, now it just means that your parents bought you some new headphones.
Continue ReadingThere’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Continue ReadingI swore at someone in French this morning. After that I punched someone in Maths and smashed a desk up in History.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend prepared a fried breakfast for me this morning. It was panned by the critics.
Continue ReadingHave you seen those bottles of wine with Braille on them? Must be for when you get blind drunk.
Continue ReadingWhen me and my best friend left school we got a job dividing countries. We both made a Korea out of it.
Continue ReadingI was in the library when my mate sent me the funniest joke by text. So I replied, ‘los’
Continue ReadingEarlier this afternoon, I employed a gardener called Anita Bush.
Continue ReadingReally proud of myself, just past a spelling test.
Continue ReadingStatistically 2 in 1 people prefer Spit-Roasts.
Continue ReadingBBC sport: Tiger Woods misses cut. That could be revenge, hope he’s got a good alibi?
Continue ReadingI was out walking last winter, when I got caught in a heavy shower of freezing rain. I don’t really remember what followed… I just sort of glazed over.
Continue ReadingI see that Madonna has bought herself another little black number on mail order.
Continue ReadingA new craze from China is set to take over from planking. People all over the country are covering themselves in light brown paint. They’re calling it Beijing.
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