Category: wordplay

I’m against hunting, in fact I’m a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

I’m writing a television show called “The year” Hopefully it will last for four seasons

My wife sucks. If only she swallowed.

What is a siamese twin’s favourite career path? Joinery.

How do you spell: Potato? If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH can stand for O as in Dough If PHTH can stand for T as in Phthisis If EIGH can stand for A as in Neighbor If TTE can stand for T as in Gazette If EAU can stand for […]

One of my relatives died at 03:00am this morning, and I’m not too bothered by it. I guess that I’m just not a mourning person.

My wife made dessert but forgot to put any Gooseberries in. Fool.

I was walking along, when I happened to come across an entire Greek army reading books. I thought to myself, “Wow… they’re smartans.”

I’m leaving my job at the ship yard to be a contestant on The Apprentice. I don’t know a lot about the world of business, but I’m good at making sails.

I went to look at a house for sale. It had the numbers 1 to 9 on the door and there was a “Stop” sign just near the “Play” area. I paused and thought “It seems a bit remote.”

I bet Kate Middleton’s well chuffed to find herself on honeymoon with the future king of England. I can picture her now, with her fist in the heir.

I bought my son a chapstick today. It didn’t work, he still looks like a girl.

Exciting goings on at number 10 last night, I see. She caught him having it off with the young girl at number 17.

My mate’s sister has just been round and fitted a new gas meter. It’s great, but when he said, “My sister works for the gas board, do you wanna meter?” I think I got the wrong idea!

I had a nervous break down yesterday. I broke down in the middle of nowere and realised I had not renewed my AA cover.