Category: wordplay

I was having a great time at a party the other night when all of a sudden I got hit in the face with a roll of toilet roll. Wiped the smile right off my face.

I went into a shop the other day and everything was on shelves way too high for anyone to reach. It was an inconvenience store.

The new Apple iPark holiday resort’s a bit disappointing. It only has one bar.

I was carving my Sunday dinner when I thought: “Surely there is a better way to eat soup.”

In university I was thinking about joining the debate team But someone talked me out of it

A hippie friend of mine told me I should try freecycling. So I stole his bike.

My friend just sent me a text message saying, ‘I’ve got an iPad 2’. ‘I think you’re confusing me with somebody else’, I replied, ‘I haven’t got an iPad’.

I’ve been circuit training for three weeks now, and I still don’t know what a diode is.

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

A hypnotist put me in a trance where I thought I was playing a never ending game of cards. Fortunately, I managed to snap out of it.

My landmine training was tougher than I thought but I eventually found my feet. And then twenty yards further my left arm.

I only own one running shoe. It’s my personal trainer.

My wife has thrown away all our 60w lightbulbs and insisted we only use low power energy saving ones from now on. I’ll never look at her in the same light again.

Went to Starbucks today and asked for a Brazilian Coffee? All I got was a cup of dirty water.

Jokes about the police are terribly rude, so just give them arrest.