Category: wordplay

It takes a lot of guts to eat as a much as I do.

My psychiatrist reckons i suffer from extreme anxiety and paranoia But i don’t take any notice of him, he’s always had it in for me.

I had a party the other night that got a little out of hand. My mate kept telling me that he’d love a go with the older chick who was sucking off some guy in the corner, then doing vodka shots off another guys back. After she’d blown every guy in the room and polished […]

I’ve been depressed, normally I do a crossword every day but lately I haven’t, too down.

I know what would have made the Dukes of Hazard more interesting, generally speaking.

I hate it when people put unnecessary add-ons at the end of words. It really winds me up to the maximumness.

‘God, you’re making me wet.’ Probably not the most appropriate thing for my 13 year old niece to say half way through her christening.

I did some hair dressing today. But people at the cafe started complaining saying they’d prefer lettuce and tomato as their side.

The weather agrees with my racism Its pure white out there!

Got arrested for beating my girlfriend. Which is a sign that she takes chess far too seriously.

When does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? When he eats his first Brownie.

Last night I went to see The Three Tenors. Ironically it cost me thirty quid.

I bought a pair of designer Calvin Kleins boxer shorts off the internet. The least he could’ve done was wash them first.

My mate Daniel wouldn’t believe me when I told him that his name was an anagram. He’s in denial.

A man walks into the doctors alone and says. “Doctors, doctors, you’ve all got to help us. We are feeling very odd todays, we can’t help multiplying everything we says. What is wrong with us doctors?” “Oh, that’s easy.” Replied the doctor. “You’ve got Pleurisy.”