Category: wordplay

I went into a tower block yesterday and saw a sign that said ‘IFTL’ Apparently the lift was out of order.

Jokes about buoyancy aids, they never go down well

Having to mark GCSE papers from a comprehensive school, where everybody always scores lower than a C, is very degrading.

I went out poaching endangered species yesterday… Now I’m playing golf with tiger woods.

Impulses They really get on my nerves

Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn’t get his Stilton.

I literally can’t find the words to tell you how poor my vocabulary is.

I’ve created a new energy saving lightbulb. It doesn’t use less electricity, it’s just easier to put in.

Ever since my addiction to children’s playgrounds started, my social life has been on the slide.

My wife suffers from ME. Mainly when I punch her in the face.

Did you hear about the mathematician who worked out in the sun? He became a tan gent.

I’ve just finished my tour of Afghanistan… It wasn’t the best place to film my stand-up DVD.

Today I bought a talking bookcase. Which speaks volumes.

I watched a Spanish man do a back-flip on his skateboard. After that he did an ol.

My wife keeps doing pheasant impressions. I thought “She’s game”