Category: wordplay

A couple of Mexican wrestlers barged into the house today, and started wrestling with my wife while she was in the bath. I tried to help, but I could only knock juan out.

Chris bates now knows how my wife feels…. Beaten by Stella

There was a demonstration in town yesterday; people with placards saying “Remember Victims of the Arms Race”. For the rest of the day I thought hard about the poor T Rex.

I’m a lesbian and I can tell you, A bird in the hand is not better than two in the bush.

I bought a bed today, 50% off. It’s 3ft.

Last night my wife told me that she is leaving me because of my obsession with 80’s pop songs. “Don’t leave me this way” i replied.

My wife says she’s leaving me because she’s tired of the constant “silly, immature mind games”. I’m devastated. It was her go at Jumanji, and I can’t get rid of the monkeys now.

I like my tomatoes how I like my one liners Straight from the Vine

Am thinking about marketing chopsticks as an enhancement to masturbation, just can’t think of a name for them.. fiddlesticks..

I just bought a car that runs on electricity, and is charged by divine judgement. It’s a hybris.

Everest may not be as tall as it claims to be, According to mountain allegations.

I made some Indian wine earlier. I stole his naan bread.

Did you hear about the hippie who drowned in the Thames. The lifeguards tried to save him but he was too far out.

My grandfather used to be the best contract killer in the business. He could hit a letter of fine print from 200 feet away.

The problem with employing homeless people is that they don’t think outside the box.