Category: wordplay

What do Roman Abramovich and Gary Glitter have in common? They both love fiddling with things they shouldn’t.

I’ve just started a job as a mobile plastic surgeon. I give bust ops at bus stops.

Only users lose drugs.

My wife finally made me go see the doctor for my erectile dysfunction. When I came back she asked what the doctor said. I told her that I didn’t get to ask him about it. “And why not?” she asked, clearly furious. “To be honest, it just didn’t come up”.

I saw a slide with an 85 degree incline for sale the other day for 1000. I thought that’s a bit steep.

Tescos had a special on today, he was packing shelves

All these magicians you see on TV have got nowt on me. I can turn my van into a street.

I’ve invented a device called a ‘base-ball.’ I’m thinking of pitching it on Dragon’s Den.

I’d say 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.

I”ve just bought a forkift truck at an auction, it’s amazing what you can pick up nowadays.

I’ve been trying to revise from post-it notes all week, but it’s just not sticking.

What are Muslim’s favourite sweets? Bomb bombs.

Flag-bearing ants. They don’t have very high standards.

epropr… That’s proper messed up.

I just tried cancelling my job interview with a company that makes straight jackets. But I couldn’t get out of it.