Category: wordplay

When I wrote to my dyslexic mate to listen, he soon went silent

I recently had a picture taken of me and my wife. I was quite flattered but at the same time I’m not quite sure why somebody would want to steal something with her face on.

Critics have noted that the diabetic boxer should use his jab more.

My mates dared me to pull a girl named Gail last night. It was a breeze.

My Dad was behind bars for 30 years, he never got a chance to see me grow up. Heck of a barman he was.

The other day in a night club while looking across the room I caught a glimpse up a girls skirt and saw she had “Eat Me” branded across the front of her thong. I chuckled to myself for a moment and then thought, why would anyone want to eat underwear?

The wife said we should try meditation. I said we should sit down and think about it.

Sky news: Boy aged 2, dies after fire rescue. Why didn’t they save the boy first?

I knew I should have taken that fork in the road. Just seen a sign saying there’s a dip ahead.

Elvis Presley died 35 year ago today. It really got me thinking. What sort of time travelling paradox machine does he own.

Bob Diamond shouldn’t be so worried about getting sacked. Losing your job can be a very Libor rating experience.

I wore a poncho the other day Didn’t see any arm in it.

I just killed my limousine driver. I don’t know why, because I have nothing to chauffeur it.

My dad keeps buying bits for his new girlfriends car, I told him not to spoiler.

I bought a herb plant today, I think it’s mint.