Category: wordplay

Good thing Fred Goodwin didn’t invent time, there would be no night.

Midget stripper just arrived for my birthday, which was actually last week. Too little, too late.

Everytime I go anywhere, my suspicious wife follows me while pulling tricks on a skateboard. She watches me like a Hawk.

My best mate just phoned me to say “I told you I’d get a flat” I said “congratulations fella, but I need that bike for tomorrow”

I can’t stand the music of Midge Ure and Ultravox, it means nothing to me .

I take great pleasure in telling rude, obnoxious people exactly where they can get off. That’s why I became a worker for the London Underground.

what did the Chinese cat say? Mao

I just saw two bits of sellotape stuck to a lamppost. Must have been a missing poster.

My girlfriend bought me a surprise gift, a 500 watt halogen bulb. How brilliant is that?

Approverypriate Sorry – that was very inappropriate.

Just found my old time-machine, That brings me back…

i got chucked out out of the opticians yesterday for telling the blond receptionist she had an IQ of 2 i mean there was only me and a guy trying to get some new contact lenses in there.

Bargain hunting is so much easier with a rifle.

Whats the difference between Sickipedia and an identical twin? You don’t bury an identical twin just because its a duplicate.

BBC NEWS: “Man critical after grimsby square attack” Apparently it happend in a night club, where a man was seen throwing shapes