Category: wordplay

The days of the digital watch are numbered.

My son and daughter were fighting over which one of them gets to eat the last slice of pizza. I ran over, knocked them both aside and devoured it myself. Felt it was my duty to keep the piece.

I’ve realised why I get a sinking feeling when I put on my new footwear. They’re quicksandals.

In a recent nationwide survey to name popular overweight celebrities, Adele featured heavily.

The Met Police Force: What a Cop Out.

I saw a picture of my wife on the internet. I showed it to her and asked what I had to ask. “When did we have that computer chair?”

So I was round at my nan’s on Sunday for tea and cakes, she’d put on a real good spread but asked me not to talk with my mouth full. SO I CRUMBED ON HER FACE!!!

‘Interest Free Credit’ – What men think of the ‘Woman of The Year Award’.

Petsmart have a sale on mute Parrotts, at 3 each this offer wont be repeated.

Luggage sales trends are determined using case studies.

I was with my mate in a shop the other day and he picked up a really flashy ring. I said to him that he wouldn’t pull it off, he put on anyway. A week later and it’s still on.

I saw a group of men protesting against slices of lemon in their soft drinks. I don’t think Fathers for just ice will take off

I was walking to work the other day when some big bird came running over to me asking for directions. . . I wasn’t much help though, I’d never heard of Sesame Street.

Just finished my last exam at school. It was Philosophy. Or was it?

I saw some tap dancing last night. That’s the last time I take L.S.D.